Silent ramblings of a brilliant mind...

Three days.  Three more days and I'm done with Indiana Physical Therapy.  I'm ecstatic and terrified at the same time.  I can't wait to be able to not work every day of the week.  I can do homework and work out and have friends.  But I am not going to have any money.  After making ten dollars an hour and working thirty hours a week, six seventy five an hour is nothing.  I will have enough money to pay my bills.  And hopefully for my gas in my car!  Not much left for Christmas presents though.  I am getting my cousins' kids things though.  And Kavianna.  And Mindy's baby Wadia.  Babies need presents...they are cute.

In my speech class we have to do a 40 minute group presentation on the 80s.  It's going to be pretty awesome.  We have 8 people in the group and we are going to make ours like an awards show.  Like have awards and commercials and stuff.  I'm going to get an award for music and I have to talk about different music groups and stuff.  I'm also going to make a CD with 80s music on it to play in the background for the entire presentation.  It should be pretty amazing.  I can't wait.

So I have to work at Barnes and Noble tonight after I get off work at IPT.  I'm not going to make it.  My eyes are so sleepy, and I haven't had to stand up for more than twenty minutes since June when I worked at Family Video.  Five hours is going to kill me.  I'm still super excited though.  I am just really looking forward to it.  I love bookstores and I love coffee shops and I like the people that work there.  It's so awesome.  Plus they have this thing where you can "check out" a book for two weeks and read it and bring it back for free.  That way we can stay up to date on the new books that come out too!!  Freaking awesome.

 My mid-November resolution:  I'm going to work out at least 3 times a week.  Starting next week.  It's my last week at IPT, I have no tests at school, it's time for a change.  Every Tuesday I want to go to the gym and do the pilates class.  If I have time I want to go on Thursdays too.  While it's still nice out I'd like to ride my bike.  I could ride to school and back.  That would be really good.  Then I'd save on gas as well.  I always thought it would be interesting to be one of those mall walkers early in the morning.  That would be really funny.  I would get some of those three pound ankle weights and 1 pound wrist weights.  That would rock.  Plus I am playing indoor soccer.  That might help.  Plus since I won't be working as much, I'm going to have to find inexpensive things to do!  Like going to the gym.  It all makes sense.

So I changed around my schedule for next semester.  I have class every single day...but I am done by noon.  Which is very nice.  I am taking trigonometry, english comp 2, photojournalism, volleyball, jogging, and soccer.  Six classes but only 12 credit hours.  I am really looking forward to it.  All except the math class anyway.  But if Russell can do it, I can do it.  Plus, if I get through it, I will only have to worry about Chemistry and Anatomy & Physiology next fall for hard classes.

I think I'm going to dye my hair tonight.  Maybe not until this weekend.  But I need to do something to it...

 So, I'm 20 years old.  I have been out of high school for two years.  And the "pretty," "popular" girls still make me feel inferior.  Even the ones who are only like 16.  I thought that stuff went away when you got out of high school.  I'm definitely going to have to work on that.  I've just been so down on myself lately.  This doesn't help, that's for sure.  I have got to start working out.

Tri-State is stupid.

Tri-State University is the devil.  Do not go there unless you want to be screwed over and over.

 So I went to a hockey game on Saturday night.  I LOVE watching hockey.  Anyway, we sat next to the aisle, and they were pretty good seats.  But I think people have forgotten hockey etiquette.  Seriously, it is such a fast paced game, you DO NOT stand up and walk down the stairs until play has stopped.  The people you stand in front of will miss something important; it is inevitable.  Also, as I was watching the people walk up and down in front of me, I noticed that when people are carrying their beer, it NEVER spills.  None of it!  People spill everything else...things that are usually not full up to the top.  It's just strange.  The drunks are completely able to keep every last drop in the cup when the sober people can't even keep their pop with a lid on it in the cups!  Just thought it was slightly interesting.

 So I'm sitting here at work wondering how much longer I'm going to be here.  I have to say, over the past couple of weeks I've really begun to dislike it here.  It seems all the mistakes I made when I was new are coming back to bite me.  It's like when I do something wrong, they catch it a month or two later.  Then they tell me about it and I fix it.  But the thing is, I had made that mistake over again for the month or two until it they caught it.  So there are two months worth of mistakes and I keep getting in trouble over and over.  Well, I can't go back in time and change them!  If they took the time to notice, I haven't made that same mistake since they caught it.  It's just frustrating and it makes me feel useless.  Then Kiara gets all over me about it.  Don't get me wrong, I love Kiara.  But it's just weird to have a "boss" (she's not really the boss but she's higher up than me) who is practically the same age as me.  And when she gets on me about stuff I feel like a failure because she's only two years older than me and it's like I should be able to live up to what she's doing.  I don't know how to explain it.  It is just disappointing.

On a brighter note, I have my application filled out for Barnes and Noble.  I hope I get a job there.  I would LOVE to work there.  Ok I'm not sure about the whole working there part, but I would get a discount on books!  I would begin my library...

Speaking of applications, I filled out my Southern Indiana application today.  I have to save up $25 to turn it in, haha.  I also have to go to North Side and IPFW and Tri-State to get all of my transcripts.  I hate how they charge you for copies of them.  Seriously, they are MY grades.  I earned them.  You should let me have them for free.  Oh, not to mention how much I paid for tuition.  Charging for transcripts is robbery.  I can't wait though.  Next fall is going to be great.

My name is Lauren and I live in the most boring big city in the world.  We're the second largest city in the state of Indiana, and there's nothing to do.  Sometimes I like it.  We have good festivals and good restaurants.  But we're also known as the city of strip clubs and churches.  Which will somewhat give you an idea of the kind of people who live here.

I used to be an athlete.  I played soccer and swam.  Not so much anymore.  I know it was unhealthy but I definitely miss weighing 107 pounds.  Forty five pounds later I am more unhappy with myself than I've ever been.  That's why I've decided to double major in Nutrition and Exercise Science.  I think it will be good, both for me and my clients.  It will keep me healthy, and I will be able to tell my clients that I've been there too.  No one should be where I am now.  But I'm working on it.  Slowly but surely things are going to turn around for me.

I am a Christian.  Christ is my Savior, and I owe Him everything.  Through him I can do anything.

I am smarter than you'd think if you met me.  I like to read, lots of kinds of books.  I'm currently reading The Subtle Knife by Phillip Pullman.  It's excellent.  I'm also very interested in C. S. Lewis's writings.  He used to be an Athiest.  I find his Christian writings very enlightening.  The social sciences are also fascinating to me.  I love sociology and psychology.  I'm considering taking a philosophy class next fall.  I'm really excited.  The medical world fascinates me as well.  I've always tried, in my spare time, to learn what I can about the human body and health.

As far as my friends go, they all live elsewhere.  Even when they come home we're all too busy to hang out.  It's actually quite depressing.  My boyfriend is the only one I see, and only on weekends.  I'm too busy to make new friends.  I work thirty hours a week and go to school full time...that doesn't leave much time for fun.  Especially since sometimes my days run straight thru from 9 am to 9 pm.  Hopefully that's about to change.  I'm currently looking for a new job.  My next semester isn't going to agree with my work schedule.  Thank God.

Speaking of my job...sometimes I really just hate it.  I am a receptionist at a physical therapy clinic.  It's not a difficult job.  There's just a lot to remember.  And some of the people just drive me crazy.  The therapists don't appreciate the front desk workers at all.  I think we should go on strike.  Then they'd realize what we do for them.  I mean, we do the laundry, make the schedules, answer the phones, contact the doctors, contact the patients, prepare their charts, edit their dictations.  If it weren't for us they'd be screwed.  It's ridiculous.